monday. - 11:57 PM
just watched finish brokeback mountain. i dunno i don't think i felt as touched as xa did. for one at certain parts i couldn't understand the undying love between the 2 guys. i jus really don't understand how they can be so deeply in love with each other. its diff enough for the love to last between a guy and a girl. wat more guys? haha i dunno, mbbe its like the exact opposite. u noe i'm talking craP. i guess i still don't understand some parts of the show. the actors LOVE to mummble in some cowboy-ish lang i don't understand. but i'd say its not bad despite my lack of understanding for certain parts.
sometimes i really wonder abt things i do. and i can't find a rationale behind it. or why didn't i see it frm the other point of view. its not for like only 1 matter but it seems that i keep doing things w/o thinking abt the outcome. not that something bad has happened frm all these things but i feel it could have been managed better.
band was rather tiring today. i think my playing sucks. its sort of like i've totally lost the motivation to work hard and perfect things like i used to have in secondary school. which is, really bad. coz sometimes i find myself playing my parts with my mind thinking of other things. there's no time. i shld really start concentrating on correcting my mistakes and pay more attention. well, shld start by slping early the day before band prac. haha.
went to the polyclinic after band to settle that eye of mine. well, i certainly wonder abt the selction criteria for doctors in singapore. u walk in and u see someone leaning back on the chair looking really bored and stuck up with the let's-hurry-get-over-and-done-with-this kind of face. and so u tell him ur symptoms and he just sits there, with his arms folded not even preparing to examine ur eye. den when ur done, he just goes, oh i THINK it shld be an allergy reaction. it could be due to MANY factors, but i cannot pinpoint specific one. it could be due to _____, ________, _____ or ______. u gotta go home and check it out. oh like i couldn't find all this information frm the internet. and then he goes like "yupp, thats all!" woah, wat a perfect consultation. i'm like 100% sure my eye would get better. haiz.. sop i went down to get my prescription. and i was just reading the paper they give inside boxes of medcine and it states thats its a kind of antihistamine. yupp and i remember reading abt this when i tried to find info on the red eye. and check out what it says:
They contain vasoconstrictors, which simply make the blood vessels in your eyes smaller, lessening the apparent redness. They treat the symptom, not the cause. In fact, with extended use, the blood vessels can become dependent on the vasoconstrictor to stay small. When you discontinue the eyedrops, the vessels actually get bigger than they were to begin with. This process is called rebound hyperemia, and the result is that your red eyes get worse over time.
k enough abt my eye. its allergy to dust i really really really really hope and wish that all the dust around me will just go away and my eye would get better. haiz i think i'm screwing up my eating times. i had lunch/dinner at 3.30! but i only ate 3/4 of it. den i had maths tuition when i came home and when i was done at 9, i ate half a cookie. woah perfect. i can just imagine gastric coming.
i tell him i don't know. he asks me what that means and i tell him i don't know how i'm doing that sometimes i feel good and sometimes i feel far less far far less than good.
[was reading a book today]